So now I face the task of bulking it up a lot. There is a lot more that needs to be added, mostly in the fluff department. I need tons of examples of the various races and classes to provide background and inspiration as well as huge stacks of enemies for the players to smash in search of that sweet, sweet loot. I don't actually have any sense of how this size a document translates to a finished product - how many pages would this be if it were printed like a normal roleplaying manual in terms of size, font, etc?
One thing I have been looking at is the way in which I present character Powers. This is an example of the current wording of the Bird of Prey Power:
----------------------
Rank 7
Effect: Take a
Move.
Target: One
creature adjacent to you
Hit: Physical
damage.
Effect: Take a
Move.
Rank 17
On a hit the target is
Stunned for 1 round.----------------------
This is a very precise Power that makes it easy to adjudicate in combat. However, if I wrote it as follows:
----------------------
Rank 7
You take a Move, make an attack, then take another Move.
Rank 17
If your attack hits the target is Stunned for 1 round.
----------------------
The second one just *feels* better. The first example is much more like DnD 4th edition and like that system it is very straightforward to know exactly what happens and when. The second is more like earlier editions of DnD where people need to exercise a little more thought. It feels more organic, more like a description of a combat move than an entry in a spreadsheet. There are definitely more complex examples out there and the wording of those may get trickier but I do like the idea of adding in a bit more fluff to the extremely crunchy Powers sections.
It is all well and good to have absolutely unambiguous descriptions but unless people want to use the ability in question it doesn't much matter how clear it is. I think I need to lean more towards making everything sound cool and a little further away from making sure the descriptions are tight.
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